Conception starts with a welcome heart.
Updated: Apr 12, 2020
"Mummy, I WANT some chocolate" my 3 year old son shouts at me, in the lead up to Christmas.
I'm instantly triggered, my shoulders go up and I firmly reply, "Alfie, you do not ask like that."
He knows how to ask with all the 'magic' words, but he is too young to understand why “wanting” something can be so negative. Instead his “wants”, which are ramped up at Christmas time, are purposeful for my healing, it's a reminder of when I desperately wanted him.
Fertility doctors told me that I had just 5% chance of conceiving and that egg donation would be my best chance to have a family. I was devastated but desperate to prove them wrong. For 4 years I tried everything and looped the same thoughts - I WANT to be a Mum, I WANT to have a baby, I WANT to be like all my other friends, they can have children why can’t I?
Perhaps I thought that if I said it enough it would happen, but in reality each “want” was full of fear, and each fear had created a block between my head and my heart. I was forgetting to think of my future baby as a human being, a being with feelings and emotions. He didn't want to be “wanted”, he longed to be “welcomed”.
So, I decided to swap the word “want” to “welcome”, and began saying “I welcome a baby”. Instantly I felt a shift in my body, I had opened my heart chakra and was welcoming him closer. We all know how a welcoming hug feels - it brings a feeling of belonging and being loved. Even a spiritual baby can feel this welcoming energy from its parents.
Fast forward 7 years and I am very grateful to be a mummy-to-two naturally conceived and very welcomed children. They now act as my mirror, they constantly remind me to discern my “wants”, to check-in and see if it’s coming from a place of fear or whether it is guided.
Whenever I find myself yearning for something bigger than an object - new mummies-to-be, new opportunities, new lessons or even money I create a welcoming mantra. It stops me from desperately seeking and instead it sends out invitation for that message to be received by the world.
Wherever you are on your fertility journey I invite you to stop the “wanting” and start “welcoming” - you never know who will be listening to your prayers.