Mothering your-self first
Updated: Apr 12
What would you say, or do, if your future child became upset?
I'm guessing that you'd be kind. Perhaps you'd pick him, or her up. Give plenty of kisses and cuddles, whilst explaining it's ok to get frustrated.
Am I right?
Well, whatever your answer. I feel sure it would have been delivered with love.
Now I would like you to apply this love to yourself, especially if you found today challenging (it's Mother's Day here in the UK). You can either wrap your arms around your shoulders and give yourself a squeeze, or find a cushion, or a cuddly toy. Close your eyes and simply enjoy being held. Comforted. Then whisper reassuring words to yourself such as; "I am where I am, and all will be ok."
I call this simple act; 'mothering yourself'. It's about being gentle and tender to your soul. When we hold something close to our heart it calms the vagus nerve, which in turn relaxes the breath and body. By gently repeating a positive mantra we quieten the chatter of the ego, our fear based mind and we regain a sense of calm. Go on, give it a go.
Meet Bluey, my childhood toy.
Now, let's look at other ways you can 'mother yourself.' Because this one only cares for the mental and emotional body. But we have many bodies, our physical body is next.
Gently place your hands on your womb. How we touch our body demonstrates that we honour and understand all that it does for us. When done with loving intention, it can be another act of 'mothering your-self'.
Last year, I introduced Intuitive Womb Massage into my offering. Why? Because I remember my own dislike for my womb when trying to conceive. Doctors told me that I was heading towards an early menopause and gave me just a 5% chance of conceiving naturally. Years of negative results had created dis-ease within my body. I felt utterly let down by my womb. The last thing I wanted to do was love it, but that's exactly what my body craved.
I now support mummies-to-be who also have the same anger and dis-ease towards their womb. That's why my Intuitive Womb Massage sessions (here in Sevenoaks, Kent) gives them a chance to reconnect and become friends again. But don't worry, if you're unable to travel here, I'm happy to teach massage techniques remotely. Our womb holds such innate wisdom, it's vital we reconnect and find out it's deepest desires.
Womb massage. Photo credit; @eliizlittle
Finally, let's look two bodies I am very passionate about - our spiritual and energy bodies. Despite being told endless bad news when trying to conceive, I kept receiving visions of us having a little boy. At first I quickly dismissed them. That was until I booked a session with an Intuitive Healer, who I later went on to train with. She invited me to reveal my buried fears, and it turned out there were a lot! Then together we tuned into the energy that surrounded me - my energy and spiritual body.
There, sitting in a green ball of pulsing light on my right shoulder, was my baby. I couldn't believe it, tears ran down my cheeks. "Is he a boy?" I asked tentatively, thinking she might think I was crazy for sharing such knowledge. "Yes" she said!
She explained that the visions and feelings I had been experiencing were of my baby in spiritual form. Also known as a spirit baby. From that day on I decided to believe in him and spoke to him daily. A spirit baby has an energetic soul just like you and I. They can hang around its mother and father for months, or even years before choosing to leave the comfort of their spiritual world. Such babies are keen communicators as long as we are open to receiving their message. Communication can come through as images, signs, colours or certain words that stand out when reading. Unbeknown to me, my fertility journey was awakening my spiritual soul, to become a bridge for you and your spirit baby.
So, here's my final 'mothering yourself' tip. Find a quiet space and turn off all distractions. Once comfortable, close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Open your heart wide and give yourself full permission to open up to your future child and be widely open to receive.
Thank you mummy-to-be for taking the time to read this. No matter where you are on your journey, do reach out for support; I would love to support you. But in the meantime, the fertility world can be a harsh place, so please be gentle to yourself.
Intuitive Fertility Coach.